I was absent all round in July — computer issues that just about did me in — but I’m back and I hope you’re happy to see me.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As usual you want to have fun but you’re also feeling a pressure of sorts to get real with yourself. There’s a little voice calling you from the deep dark recesses of your inner being to get things in order. It’s not that you don’t understand what needs to be done it’s just that your normal level of self-management feels a little undone. (Even you, the control lord/mistress, needs to feel the pleasure of restraint at times.) What’s bugging you? Could it be a reluctance to let others see you at your most vulnerable? Could it be a reluctance to share your most intimate secrets? You can share without giving everything away. Of note: being the one that carries the crop says as much about a person (you) as it does about the one feeling it’s bite. Remember that, oh secretive one.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Two things that stick it to you this month are stressors and showdowns. You can deal with the stress in your normal Taurus way of doing things, which is an unwavering sense of determination, but the showdowns might be a little trickier. The descriptor “between a rock and a hard place” applies all month long. This in and of itself could be good if you’re up north having sex on the Canadian Shield where rocks abound and can be quite comfy if you manage to ease your ass into just the right nook and granite cranny. If not, then you just may wear yourself out trying to keep everyone happy. Expect your most personal relationships to be a little tricky over the next few weeks and manage them accordingly.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You do so very often celebrate before you should don’t you? One Twin urges you to continue on to the next life party while the other wants you to hold up a minute to assess the situation and make sure all is well. You have been under considerable pressure of late (some of it self-imposed, some of it inflicted by others) to improve how you relate within your relationships. In fact those you profess to love have been up your butt about you being more open haven’t they? The tiny missing piece of the puzzle that stumps you every time is that you dismiss the fact that you need to repeat actions. You do figure out what you have to stroke—inner thigh, taut nipple, ego—you just forget to do it more than once. The need for growth continues. Please remember that they’re not asking you to move heaven and earth … just that you love them out loud a little bit more often.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
It’s time to love yourself up a bit more, in fact you should pamper and powder your own ass for once. It’s not like you don’t deserve it but it is very much like you don’t freaking ask for it. Love you love you love you … oh, and love me back … practice saying it if you must to make it stick in that thick shell of yours. You are a caring individual and put a lot of work into making sure that everyone else is happy and satisfied and the world is a better place for it but it really is time to get some for you. Sometimes less is more and this month you should give less and ask for more.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
All you want, actually this is all you ever really want, is your moment of adoration and attention. Can’t you just get a little? Something? Maybe not just yet but your efforts will be rewarded and in not too long a time. Can you imagine how much thought must go into exalting you in just the right way? One cannot simply admire your flawless (to them) form, it’s likeness must be preserved on canvas and hung just so for all to see; your scent cannot simply be whiffed at, it must be inhaled like the heady fragrance it is; your essence cannot be slurped from between your legs it must be lapped as sweet nectar from the juncture of your most perfect thighs. Loving you is hard work. Give them a minute to get it right.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Say good-bye to your worries and anxieties. Take a deep breath and smell the pussy−even if it’s yours—in other words just take some time to enjoy yourself. As a Virgo you do spend an awful lot of time tending to the needs wants and desires of everyone else. This can leave you used up on many levels. You also spend time dissecting actions that have already taken place. Should you have bedded them the moment you met? Would you have allowed them to enter you so wickedly if you’d given it more thought? Could you have left them with a little more dignity or was making them beg you to come back the right thing for the moment at hand. Who knows and who cares? Do your thing Earth Lover … no one else quite can.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You’ve worked very hard to accomplish those things you wanted to accomplish over the last month or so and now it’s time to get a little appreciation. This could be in the area of relationship building and or physical building of things … like spanking benches or fetish rooms. Maybe you redid the bedroom into the perfect little love nest. Maybe you stocked their tickle trunk with everything rubber … could be anything really. Here’s another thing, blow your own horn whether you have to or not; don’t blow them off with any of your “it was nothing really” responses. Own it. And good job by the way.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Your mental hot house of a mind is baking under the summer sun and you are being pushed pulled and almost forced into changing things up. It’s not going to hurt half as much as you think (or tend to like) because in the changes ahead you’ll find more an easing of responsibilities than an out and out direction shift. The best part is that the phrase “not anymore” will escape those sexy lips of yours. How good is that? It’s freaking excellent. Some will think that you’re making decisions without thinking, but you know that you’re simply voicing decisions already made. That you’re as surprised as anyone else when you randomly put it out there is just icing on a Scorpio cake. Who saw that coming? Not you? Now get the fuck out. Seriously. We’re done.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Summer’s not over yet so you still have time to romp naked under the sun, and make love in the dewy grass beneath a benevolent moon. Thought you’d missed it with all the “me” work you’ve been doing didn’t you? Don’t now be afraid of the changes you think you have to make and don’t blow it up to the point you think you have to change everyone you’ve been screwing just to facilitate those changes. Do think of it as a transformational period in which you’re improving on all fronts. Those not afraid of transforming will stick right with you, excited about the newness of it all. Those afraid will tie themselves to the bed rails in an effort to keep everything the same then run away when they find they can’t. Good riddance. This time it really is you but in a good way.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Sometimes maintaining your natural calm and collected ways is very trying, more so when you’re a boiling cauldron of emotions underneath that cracking shell. This month don’t waste time trying to patch the cracks or the relationships that they govern. Think of yourself as an egg (not a boring chicken egg or that egg in the Alien movies… some mystical orb would be a better visual) as it breaks open magical things appear. That’s you. What have you been hiding inside you? Are you a secret 50 Shades kind of character? Have you never been touched the way you want? Been with whom you want? Been afraid that if you let the Beast within out you’ll never get yourself back in the cage? FEAR is fantasized expectations appearing real … or something like that. Don’t be afraid of yourself and your own potential.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
We all know that you’re the Water Bearer: a cool, collected, all loving, free spirit. But, it’s time to admit to yourself that you want to be noticed and in saying so you’ll find that it’s a lot easier than pretending you don’t want the attention at all. And puhlease do not pull that horrid time waster of a habit where in you try to figure out what they want or why they like you … or why they’re pretending to like you. (Yes you do so do that!) Just say thank you and continue on; it’s way sexier, way more mysterious and makes them more interested in your hot ass most likely to the point they’ll follow you wherever you go. Oh and when they get to that point try to remember you wanted the attention in the first place. Bed them. It’s what you do.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You are a hidden agenda on the best of days – transparent on the worst, but this month you should aim for a see thru effect every day. You see, when others are in a frenzy and they dump their frenzied mess on you the fact that you have nothing to hide will in fact save you from any nastiness that might ensue. Like when you fuck someone’s honey cause they told you it was over with them and they feel so bad they just need a little love and you’ve been such a pillar of strength and a calm harbor in the storm and clearly they wanted it because they actually initiated the whole thing by showing up with a bottle, two glasses and no underpants. The fact that you’re not lying that you did them (probably several times) but they lied about the whole “ex” part is on them and theirs … hey, they need to get their act together, not you. Word: be careful out there.