Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Much more than imagining them all naked, sudden dirty images and fantasies arrive at random and unexpected times. This unnerves you but also inspires you to give some of them a go. If not carefully planned though, the reality of implementation will bite you right square on the arse. Look inward first and consider how you would like to be invited to what you want them to get involved in with you. Delicate situations require delicate initiations but if you ask nicely you’ll have a better chance of getting what you want.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You expect appreciation and gratitude this month and if you don’t get it you will be stubbornly demanding. This is so you that you won’t even take the time reading this to appear shocked and appalled at this revelation. But I digress, you don’t do things (like blow them) to get things (be blown) and normally you don’t care that much what they’re thinking but you’ve been outstanding in the lovemaking department lately and what you’d like is that while they’re screaming for salvation and deliverance at your hand or tongue that they take the time to thank you once they’ve caught their breath. Is that too much to ask? This month, you don’t think that it is.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Even a little bit of emotionality goes a long way for you and this month you might feel overwhelmed by what’s coming your way and (shut the doors and batten down the hatches) what is coming right back out of you. Where did that soft weak shit come from? Here’s my best advice and for once you should take it – get out of your own way and enjoy the experience of just being with and in the moment. Granted, with and in the moment can be as basic as flat out fucking till the sun comes up or as esoteric as getting in each others psyches and shedding a tear from the shear joy of a shared bountiful loving experience. Coming together and loving every minute of it. Feels good when you let it.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Try not to replay events in your mind in an attempt to find a different outcome for things that have already played out in real time. Also don’t spend so much time imagining what could happen … in fact of all the dreadful things you’ve come up with of late, have any of them even come close to coming true? I thought not. Trust your instincts (that’s that little itch you get that you think is just sand under your shell). Is it possible they like you just the way you are? Understand that you are unbelievably hot to them, not that it’s unbelievable that you are hot to them. Hate it when those “get happy” sayings are true don’t you, but the truth is that if you don’t like what you see, then change the way you look at it. Time to look at yourself with a little more love.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You’re still thinking things through from last month and you think you’re ready to get up to, on to and in to all the crazy dirty things you can. Trouble is that just as you lube yourself up and rev the engine you yourself ease up on the gas; this confuses the co-lubed up and quite frankly they are pissed. But don’t worry about them, let’s talk about you. You’re not losing your touch or your desire to do anything with anyone; you’re just having a very mature moment of realization that the timing is not always right for the best of all experiences to take place. You’ll turn the spotlights back on yourself when you’re ready. Good news is that they are now so heated up with desire that they will wait patiently for your call.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You want to dust under the bed and clean out the cracks both literally and figuratively as a compulsion to clean things up grabs hold of you and drives you mercilessly. Lovers live with fear in their little hearts as they’ve experienced this “thing” with you before. The wise ones will disappear till your done with the hope that if you can’t find them you won’t get rid of them. Cleansing your “space” makes room for more positive aspects to move in and yes, a new lover with an ass like a Greek God or Goddess can be considered a positive aspect but you may just need to refurbish and reorder the old lovers …who will remain hiding till you ask them to come back in.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
It feels good to regain some control does it not? You were beginning to feel as if you were losing your sense of sanity and direction and it’s now time to pay more attention to yourself and the pursuit of your own goals. Be confident and use this surge of energy to get what you want. Just one little glitchy kind of hold up a minute kind of thing: you’re the only one up to speed here, the rest are not quite with you yet. This becomes problematic if you attempt to assert your will without warning. It’s like that new position where you have to explain how or where you found out about it before you throw it in to the love making mix. Be as patient with others as they have been with you.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good grief, another month of mixed messages and misread signals. Serenity now – well not right now – but soon …ish. Some of these incoming missives are from others (outside your head), some are self-invented and both can be equally lifting or destroying. Truthfully you are going through a stage that does more to confuse than it does to enlighten and you don’t like this. How can you be the Zen sex guru if you can’t find your Zen to begin with? Troubling isn’t it? The best way to get through this is to try to remove emotionality from your decisions. Yes, yes, they are sexy and hot and look good beside you and you still want them physically, but on the upside? Where does it leave you? On the other hand … I know. I’m no help at all. (And I am a Scorpio.) This Month the rest of you Scorpios you’ll have to help yourself.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Everyone everywhere and everything just seems all squishy with emotion and want and need (not the hot sexy kind) and no matter where you look, or run or hide … it’s right there with you. Can you escape to the other side where it seems that freedom lives? You’d have to take a leap of faith and you’re truly not much of a leaper so what should you do? Hmm. Sit tight for now, give yourself some room to breath and relax and just do nothing. How does that sound? One or two more times between their thighs won’t be horrible will it? No it won’t. You might just decide to stay, and if you don’t you’ll sleep better knowing that you gave the situation the respect it deserved in the leaving.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Taking a trip down memory lane? This appeals right now doesn’t it and the urge is quite strong to follow through. Do this in the light of day though, no midnight texts or emails that might be misunderstood as a last ditch booty call attempt. Whatever is bringing you back to deal with your past suggests that something might have been left undone that needs to be put right. I suppose you could pretend you forgot a favorite pair of underpants as an opening line to get in there but honesty will work as well. Any clearing of the air will potentially leave you both feeling better about everything … and then there’s the real last session when you can really fuck each other like it’s the real real last time or the first get back together time – both have the potential to be outstanding.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
It’s rare that we find you wishing you could turn off your mind but that’s the situation these next few weeks. You may find yourself troubled by recent events and in an attempt to reconcile yourself with the outcome you’re replaying the scenario over and over again. You’ll drive yourself mad if you continue to do so but it won’t soften how you feel about things. If your mind has taken over and you’re trapped in a recurring fantasy that seems doomed to stay that way you may just have to accept it. Unrequited love can be tragically painful but can also spur you on to engage with persons you never considered before. You’ll never find that diamond in the rough if you don’t have to look for it. This might be that time.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It’s heating up out there and you just want to hang out and enjoy the scene but at the same time you get it that in order for things to happen the way you want, you need to be involved in planning some of the details. On the other hand you could simply plan to be where the details are happening and enjoy the peripheral fall out – otherwise known as being at the right place at the right time. You’re good at that. It’s a little predatory to watch how things are playing out with who and then make your move … but it’s so much fun! And for every minute you spend looking there’s someone else looking for that person who seems to be slightly detached. You make a perfect pair.