Aries (March 21 – April 19)
This month life is giving you a whole lotta attitude. You have to second-guess and sugar coat everything you say and do and this leaves you cranky and unfulfilled. Aries cranky is one thing; unfulfilled is near disaster. My best advice to you for the next few weeks is to focus on things much closer to home – like in your own bed under your own covers. Satisfaction can be found by focusing on small tasks and actions. When a partner lies next to you completely satiated and near comatose with pleasure you may take comfort in 2 things – one that you provided this – and two the realization that the tiniest of movements, and the slightest increase in physical pressure actually relieved the pressures (for you both) from the outside world. AKA – coming just makes you feel better. I’d run with that if I were you.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You escape stress that’s bugging Aries above as you coast into a mellow month filled with easy days and sleazy nites … nothing wrong with an over the top dirty evening is there? You may be challenged in this regard as someone may push you to actually walk your talk about how far your sexual limits go. If you accept this and at the same time take control, you will be able to run things to your liking … and also to theirs. And is that not the goal? You want to keep them interested and a little uneasy wondering just how far you’ll go and just how much you expect out of them. Plenty of sex and plenty of control always makes Taurus lovers happy and when you’re happy they’re happy aren’t they? Exactly.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Your enthusiasm returns and you are on cloud Gemini – the fluffy kind this time, not the usual dark thunderheads. Nothing gets on your nerves these next few weeks not even the shitty problems others keep pushing your way. On the other hand, that you consider them “other’s shitty problems” does indicate a little tension within. You will, in your usual and natural Gemini way, when faced with anything with the off chance of going sour, turn on the charm and voila – it’s all good. There will be pants dropping, underpants peeling off, tiny rivulets of sweat running through damp scented places, breasts heaving with desire, mouths gasping, hands grasping and fingers digging into the very softest of places… in other words there will be love in Gemini land. All that’s required of you this month is that you be ready to receive it.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You scandalous little hard-shelled creature you! This month you’re all about embracing joy and satisfying your senses in every way you can. The only danger in this for you is that you must make sure that you are doing this in a meaningful way and not just to prove you can do who ever, whenever, and however you choose to do them. A better route would be to explore the depths of emotion and level of physical sensation that you share with each other. Do you think it would be better to try different lovers or different things with a favorite and loyal lover? How much pressure and pain can they take, can you take? What is the lightest stroke that gets you off, how long can you sustain either? How many times? How many ways? The possibilities are endless and you should investigate every one of them.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Your stage awaits you (known to the rest of us as everyday life & living) but you feel reluctant to take the spotlight. This is so not like you. Are you evolving? Thing is that the feeling that grabs you most right now is a desire to celebrate the uniqueness of others: you want to share the love and the spotlight. But, you do still want to perceived as all giving and you still want to look spectacular doing it … oh yes, right down to the ambient light that plays of your ass no matter which way you’re pointing it. (Your ass, not the light.) Most likely this “sharing the spotlight” thing will pass on its own and you can get back to your normal “me” self. We’ll still be here waiting.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Is it nightmares, haunted visions, or are you entering a period of enlightenment? Actually, your sub-conscious calls. Are you ready to pay attention? Often in your desire to fulfill everyone else’s desires you forget about what you want – what rocks your little socks, makes you stiff, makes you wet … and makes you feel wanted. In making others feel good you miss that feel good mark within yourself. How to determine whether you’re there in the moment or not? It’s when you slap their ass or choke them a little, or offer your own tender parts up for loving abuse and you’re just going through the motions. It’s when you do the romantic cream puff fuck and you really want to get down and dirty and sweaty. You’re not bored with them or the way you do them but the little voice you try so desperately to ignore would like some face-time.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You feel good and so do you. You are high on life (interpret that any way you want), you love everyone and it seems like everyone loves you. Best part is that even if they don’t – you don’t give a flying fat F. You can roll every seasonal parade into one and call it the Libra Parade and nothing’s going to rain on it. This month you’re doing you. Caution though as this rosy cheeked and gilded vision of the world at large can cause you to be even more generous than your norm. So, yes, they’ve got some skills, a rock hard and always ready cock, or a pussy that surely must have been what the Garden of Eden was modeled on … but you’re not fixing them up with a ride, or a new wardrobe, or paying their rent. Remember over these next few weeks that you’re doing you.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Finally and I do mean finally, it’s time for you to not only expect the credit you deserve but also the acknowledgement of what you’ve sacrificed to make all the good in your combined lives actually happen. You don’t want them to be beholden to you (actually a Scorpio turn-off) but you do want a little “if not for this, if not for what you do for me, my life would be shit,” feedback. You want some indication that they are aware that you (Scorpio) are the best they’ve ever had, the most they can ever expect to have, and (they) are fucking grateful for the fucking opportunity (literal and philosophical) to be fucked by you. Once this is established you can move on as per normal. Just doing your Scorpio thing. Any questions?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
The summer sun (or winter if you’re in another hemisphere) shines on you all month long. Gone are those days and nights you’ve experienced of late where you felt drained of energy, life and direction. Spontaneity returns with the rest of the family in tow: Sexy, Dirty, Obscene, Nasty, Smutty, Naughty … and Absolutely Wicked. Where you point them is up to you but not dressing them up and taking them out would be a shame wouldn’t it? The real situation is that if you’re in a funk of some sort the only one that can lift you up is you. Your friends and lovers have been waiting patiently for you to get back to it and even though Spontaneity’s family is purely imagination the likelihood that within your family of friends, you could find someone to match each of those “traits” is high. Should you waste time waiting to find out who is who … or should you get to discovering their dark secrets yourself?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Where others find comfort in the Sun’s illuminating light you often ignore it in the hopes that all the dark nooks and crannies of your deep psyche will not be seen. News Flash: the dark space under your bed is no more emotionally messy than the rest of ours – we all have don’t go there places. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Easier said than done, I know, but the open spaces discovered can then be filled with love, with, fun, and with the sheer delight in release. When you’re enough for yourself you’ll be more than enough for lovers. When you’re enough for yourself you can never be too much for lovers. Free those that can’t bear the weight of your open-heartedness. If they can’t breath under the weight of your after-come coma that’s a different thing and you should get off before they pass out … but the connection is that you’ve just had an over the top experience with them because you let all that insecure-sex-emotions-baggage go. Beautiful.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Don’t try saving the world this month, or a few people, or even one special person, it’s not for you to do. Just take the time to work on yourself and your own level of tolerance. They’re not you after all. They’re only human. I’m not suggesting you let things fly like stepping out when there’s an understanding of exclusivity but crackers in bed isn’t a deal breaker. Who gives a crap about the toilet seat or which way the bog roll rolls from? Not you I hope. Certainly if every time you come home they’re wearing your thong on their head like an N95 mask and breathing deeply, you should address that, but this month let the little things go.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’re just floating along enjoying the dreamy Pisces world of possibilities … and then reality gets in your face. Don’t you freaking hate that? Yes, Pisces you do. Because you are as open (usually literally) to the absolute abundance and novelty that the world has to offer, that you would need to address … oh perhaps promises made in the heat of the moment, or in the moment you decided you’d say anything to get what you wanted, sometimes comes as a surprise. Welcome to our world. You’re not a fan of conflict either so stands to reason that not doing things (like double booking your own ass) would make sense. Hot steamy summer days can lead to steamier nights – all it takes is a little more planning on your part.