Aries (March 21 – April 19)
And you can’t stop, you won’t stop …or something along those lines. As long as you’re still feeling energetic and all into everyone’s business then you go on and do what you think you’re able to, but at some point you’re going to have to actually stop. Or, you could pace yourself. The choice is this: go till you drop or slow your roll and keep on easing down that road with the good sense to go around those risky emotional pot holes and those shit up to your knees ditches. Live life to the fullest and do it like it’s your last day … but just so you’ve got something left to do tomorrow you can put things or people off to another day: A coming very soon day – just not this day.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Okay, so you’ve spent time and effort being the best-est Taurus you can be: the Universe knows this isn’t easy and applauds and appreciates your efforts. But then, if service to others and sacrifice is the key to happiness, why does everyone else seem happier than you? Simple really, you’re wearing yourself out. You’re servicing physically and sacrificing up your own bits and pieces at the whim and fantasy of others. You don’t need to say, “yes” all the time. Take a page from that Say Yes to the Dress show – try a bunch on but make the hard decision and keep just one – then fuck the living daylights out of that one special “dress”. There you go. Work load down. Satisfaction up.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You might as well just stamp your feet and let fly the big temper tantrum right now. This would be the no one appreciates me tantrum. Then, once lovers have fallen to their knees and begged forgiveness (so difficult to do during a paddling – one can barely speak between down strokes) and you’ve had them every which way from Sunday, simply turn the attention back to your Twin selves and celebrate your own fucking awesomeness (please, take that both ways). Seriously, you are so seriously fickle at times if we didn’t love you, we’d be afraid of you. Which we’re not, just so you know.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You find yourself torn between two lovers – them and yourself. You want to please everyone but in doing so you short sheet your own bed and now no one is feeling the love. You do know that doing everyone to the level they need or want you to is going to mean you’re doing it all day every day? This isn’t possible. You could initiate some ‘somes (threes, fours and so on) and take a sneaky break and watch for a minute or you could connect Lover B with Lover C or Lover D with Lover E … you decide. Introduce some connections and you’ll get the opportunity to stop babysitting and get back to the kind of intense one on one that you actually prefer.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You’re still just one big walking talking button waiting to be pushed. You dare me, and him, and her, and all the rest of you over there to start something … anything. Go ahead. See what happens. This is a testament to how Oscar Oscar Charlie (out of control – for you non-phonetic alphabet types) you were, cause actually you’re better. Here’s something weirdly odd in its simplicity: The less you push the more you achieve and receive. Try a little tenderness. For example: you want sex, you demand sex – you won’t be getting any sex. You don’t have to act like you don’t want it, but if you back off just enough to make them wonder what’s up with you … bam! And you get what you want. Result.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Hold up you Master/Mistress of all list makers, it’s time step away from that pad and pencil or smartphone App and take a second. I know that you’re energized and pumped up with loving desire but if you spread yourself too thin you’re going to flame out before any of the jobs get crossed out, checked off or deleted as done. It’s not just that you have too many par amours; it’s also doing too much. You can get up early, you can stay up too late, you can work your little fingers to the bone … but you can’t do everything and stay up all night doing everyone. Not every freaking night, even two or three in a row is pushing it right now. Nobody likes a lover who falls asleep right after … and during? Oh, that better not happen.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Reality at times sucks, and it’s definitely not that soft sweet suck of a relentless lover – this suck really does suck. In fact, it stank… or stinks … something like that. What’s the real issue here? We’ve had this convo before and Little Libra we’re going to have it again. If things aren’t quite right take a step back and see if you’re letting some one else’s reality rule your reality. Live your own life. Let the only sucking be of your own direction, decision and dirty free will. Go. Be the best me that Libra can be.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Honestly, could you be more bored? Right now you’re just self-loving ‘cause it feels good physically, you can’t even be bothered to conjure up a good fantasy to stroke along with it. I know. Whatever. The good news in this is that you’ll soon become bored with being bored and kick your own butt back into normal Scorpio gear. When you do, you’ll very likely find yourself in the right place at the right time for something very special. And just like that, you’re back in the wet sweet groove of life. Fresh eyes, fresh ass everywhere, and good stuff like that.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Admit it. Despite your sometimes anti-social ways you do have a secret desire to be besties with everyone. Guess what? This month your wish is granted and you are bedtime central (same as party central just with loads more sex). However, to every positive there’s usually a negative and yours is sensory overload. You want to go again but you just can’t take any more bright lights and action – very much like that feeling you get when yes, another orgasm would be fucking awesome thank you – but no thank you ‘cause you realize your business has gone numb and you just might pass out. This month take this saying to heart, “All things in moderation.”
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Sometimes you forget that getting all you can out of life involves living and playing well with others. This month your best advice is to tend to your own “already” relationships. You can park those that are just coming into the realm of Capricorn reality because they’ll be there when you’re really ready for them. Turn towards home base, or bases you wicked thing, and assess what needs assessing and adjusting. Be interested, carry someone else’s emotional load, listen, lend a hand, and try a little loving care. Making love isn’t just a physical thing; sometimes it’s a “doing” thing… doing for them outside the bedroom. And more than that, making love is also a “being” thing. Sometimes you just have to be there. Try it. It’s free.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You’re as elevated and excited as you can be. You know something’s gonna come your way, something big and you can’t wait. Getting up in the morning is like stripping off that first time with a new lover. You’re there and you’re ready to get busy. But like many good things, sometimes The Universe delays the onset of small miracles and if that happens this month, just, and as hard as it may be to do, let things play out in their own time. Even though it feels like every nerve end is on fire and you’re this close to coming all freaking day long, you can do this. Patience Aquarius – the big come is coming.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You are normally the master at taking things as they come (the dirtier the better) but this month the absolute lack of clarity and intention displayed by others is driving you to nuts. Do it Pisces. Call them on it. It might be what they need the most and you’ll feel better in the end, in their end, end over end, end to end … the possibilities are endless. And they love you love you love you anyway. Do you really think they’re going risk losing that silver slick tongue of yours? The control this month is yours.