Lily Lick’s Love Signs December 2013
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Who’s that knocking at your door? Not necessarily your physical front door as lovers from times past may reappear when you least expect them… because you’re not actually expecting them at all. Much like those lurking lovers, there’s a few issues from earlier in the year that need clearing up if you wish to move effortlessly into the new (year). If you take things into your own hands, others praise you for your forceful kindness. My goodness, you do have that magic touch don’t you? It’s a skill. Own it Aries, put your finger on their trigger and own it.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You are taken with a sudden desire to finish everything you started since this year’s beginning. Does this even sound realistically possible to you? You may come very close to changing your bucket list to a fuck it list because all it will really do is create unnecessary drama for all concerned. You cannot try all the positions of the Kama Sutra in 31 Days … not without someone getting rubbed raw anyway. Where’s the enjoyment in that? December for you Taurus is a great lesson in not creating your own shit. Understand this and your slide into 2014 will be much easier.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
About the only thing you (and you) are thinking of over the next few weeks is how to have yourselves a good ole time. You’re determined to end 2013 with a bang (literally it would seem) and new people you meet this month intrigue you to the point of lustful action. But what on earth are you going to do with the old people … you know, the ones you’ve already promised your undying love to? Don’t confuse your own guilty conscience with imagined “restrictions on you” in present relationships. Go ahead then, have fun, relish the moment and heady feelings of being the one … for a different other one. You know, you do cause a lot of your own problems by your willful fucking disregard …um, I mean, all by yourself.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Its time for your annual visit to the land of overwork, over-do, and overcommit but you should seriously consider calling your travel agent to cancel this trip. Oh, shoot, you planned this yourself. Now what’re you going to do? Here’s a thought: instead of making sure everyone else has a great holiday season, ask for help. Make them dress the bed, while you’re trimming the tree, in fact scrap that. Make them trim the tree then clear the debris to the side and ride them under the twinkling lights and bauble-decked branches. What’s a bit of tinsel stuck to your ass in the big picture? Have an egg-noggy naked picnic down there. PS: They can clean up …its part of your Cancer do-less plan.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
There might not be any spotlights at home but if you admit it, that’s exactly where your heart is this month. You find true contentment with those close to you; those you love and cherish deeply. Get any shopping done earlier than late, get your food and drink in and put away, cook ahead of time, relax. While everyone else is rushing around you’ll be adding those finishing Leo touches that make everything better. You Leo, can make diamonds out of coal, you can make the hearts of lovers float, and their bodies sing Xmas carols not allowed in houses of worship. This is why you, Leo, are adored with a delightfully depraved sort of devotion that’s better than any gift ever.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You’re feeling a smidgen unsatisfied with the status quo but if you make the effort to rethink and redefine the things that make you most happy you’ll find that your need to be one step ahead of the next guy can be released. Taking care of others does allow you to control things to a certain degree (which you like) but it’s also okay to let the energy of things/people just ebb and flow on their own. You know what they like, you can do what they like, but you can’t make them come on demand… or because you want them to. Suggesting they really need something else when they tell you to get on top, or blindfold them, or just go down on them won’t be appreciated. Ebb, flow, and let some things go this month Virgo and you’ll find their happy place, but more importantly, you’ll find your own.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Even though there is mucho going on there’s not a chance that there’s enough parties to satisfy your need to get it on. So much so that you’re inclined to throw one of your own. A lingerie/PJ party? A dirty Martini Mr. & Mrs. Claus cocktail event? Something like that? Don’t forget to schedule in some personal downtime (Between yours or someone else’s thighs if you prefer that over a spa day … I know I do.). You’ll be one cranky companion by mid-December if you don’t. Save some Ho Ho Ho-ing for the actual holiday week itself. Or should we just stick with Ho-ing? Hmm. You decide, but done Libra-esque it’s a whole new level of Ho. You dirty thing.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
It’s not that all the December & New Year’s fuss puts you off it’s just that you like structure. You do want to go to the party but if it’s going to turn into a free-for all fucking event you’d like to have an inkling of that ahead of time. You’ll wear your extra special underpants, or not wear them at all so as not to lose them. Sex is a mindset. In your Scorpio mind, you kind of like to have things set. Spontaneous sex is for the neophyte. The uncontrolled, and the uninitiated. Scorpio, you will have more chance of controlling the outcome if you involve yourself in the planning … of anything. Yes Honey, even when you can’t be bothered.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
It’s your Birthday time Sagittarius and just to show off you’re spelling Happy every which way you can. Sex, shopping, sex, getting gifts, sex, new exciting partners, sex, new exciting positions, places, parties, sex, and more sex. Life is a Santa Clause Parade of experiences and you want to realize them all by year’s end. Probably not entirely possible but it does make you the Zodiac go to Sign for these last few weeks of 2013. Result achieved. You do love to be that person.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
As 2013 ends and 2014 begins you experience a joyful optimistic exuberance. You love to experience WOW results from your own hard work and there’s no disputing that you’ve worked your little Capricorn butt off over the last 12 months. So, even if you’re itching to plan the next big thing, take a moment, and don’t. Relax into the arms of a grateful lover; sink into the release of submission, the ceding of control. Just for a few weeks, change thought patterns from I make things happen to I let things happen, for me, to me, with me. Deep sigh and relax. It’s the best present you’ll get. You’re welcome.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
All stoppages, delays, and disputes that have gripped you over the last few months are put aside and you find yourself caught up in a whirlwind of activity in December. Sounds good doesn’t it? There’s only one caveat and that is that despite everyone’s enthusiasm to get with you, be with you, and enjoy you where they are, you’ll find that the logistics are really still up to you. So this month, depend on no one, expect nothing, and just be responsible for you. It’s not selfish; it’s self-preservation, which in itself is another version of self-love. Think of it as a gift you don’t have to wrap up.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Something wicked this way comes Pisces. It may or may not be something you caused or are directly involved in but to avoid any kind of stick to you blame you’re going to have to clean the mess up. Texts that go to the wrong person, underpants that don’t belong to anyone at all under the pillow, that pesky phone locating app that tells exactly where and when a photo was taken, stuff like that. You may have to pull a few special plays out of the Secret Pisces Trick Bag to save the situation. Special plays can involve but are not limited to the use of fingers, tongues, lips, hard dicks, wet pussies, and may or may not be used in conjunction with vibratory devices, restraints, disciplinary implements, rubber rings, or insert-able apparatus. Special plays involve special play. Please play responsibly … and use enough lube to keep all parties pliable, pluggable, and personally satisfied. That’s quite the bag of tricks you have Pisces. Can I order that from Amazon?