Surely you can find something to do with that wonderfully sexy mouth of yours? What about your tongue? Isn’t there something out there to lick besides your wounded pride?
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Oh, you’re just moving at top Aries speed and you expect everyone to keep up with you, to be as enthused as you, to be as energized and eager as you. What’s the problem with that? Nothing essentially until you run into the cold-water throwers; those ones that can’t do what you do but want what you have. Think of the “friend” who secretly sabotages your new or ongoing fabulous and full of great sex relationship – that monopolizes your time — and if you let them, fills your mind with little negativities that build to big doubts about your lover. Be wary.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
OMG! Can no one out there make a decision about anything? It feels like that for you this month, Taurus. You’re not opposed to masterminding an evening of food and related fucking but when they want you to plan it and then they complain about it, it becomes quite tiring. They’ve left you no choice: time to be The Bull and call BS on it all. Dig your little hooves in and suggest that they take it or leave it. You can be angry (although it’s really a waste of energy), you can be stubborn, and you can stand your ground. This month you won’t feel like backing down or holding back. Don’t go looking for fights but do look forward to making up in your special Taurus way.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You and your bruised feelings are just chilling with each other trying to figure out this whole hurt by someone else thing out. How the freak did that happen in your well-ordered, self-contained, and self-controlled little world? Which one of you wasn’t paying attention? Accepting that even as fabulous as you are, that the world is a selfish place, and not everyone gives a shit about you will go further to healing your ouchy heart than pouting. Surely you can find something to do with that wonderfully sexy mouth of yours? What about your tongue? Isn’t there something out there to lick besides your wounded pride?
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
The door to your emotional vault is off the hinges and the secret things you want to keep hidden are in danger of being exposed to all who seek your truth. Not good. Here’s a thought: clean your emotional house. No holding back. While a warm and fuzzy trip down memory lane is quite nice sometimes, holding on to things that hurt us is not. Keeping things like this close enough to re-live regularly isn’t healthy. Lovers want the best for you, share what you safely can with them and let them help you make room for the good stuff you so dearly deserve. If there’s certain things back there that have fueled a sexy fetish or two… well, you can’t throw everything away.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
All your energy is focused on playing and this is the best way you can see right now to ease the stress you feel and that continues to build. Playing can mean different things to different people but for you it still needs to contain some Leo focused attention. Whether it’s one on one, or two, or three, or in front of one, or two, or three, you feel the need to do whatever it takes to get your mind…out of your mind. You need to relax or your forced and fake happy will become obvious and awkward for all involved. Nothing worse than loving someone who is so clearly not with you in the moment is there? Don’t let that someone be you.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You are completely in your zone these next few weeks with more stuff to do, people to see, and love to make than you can stuff into one day. On top of this, potential partners beg for your attention and the opportunities to begin new affairs and relationships abound. You are wanted, wooed, and worshipped. Could life be any better? Not right now it couldn’t. The only caution for you Virgo is to make sure you leave time to re-energize yourself so you can satisfy the needs of your lust-for-you filled lovers. This month you are that good.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are gleefully traipsing down the it’s all about me road after putting everyone else’s needs and desires on hold in order to serve your own interests. The balance you have helped others seek has now turned inwards to you and it’s time to find out what is truly going to make you happy in the short term and the long term. Uh, this is big Libra so you need to turn off your media devices and listen to your own heartbeat for a minute or two. If you do this now the road to satisfaction will be shorter. What? No talk of sex? Everything is sex Libra. What makes your heart pound outside of bed will make it pound harder in bed. It’s all related and it is that simple.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The mystery is inside, and it is you. Wow. Could it be that you’re as stymied by yourself these days as everyone else is by you? Those close to you know that they’ll never figure out what really makes you tick and some nights they fear the dark as much as they do falling into the mystery of your psyche and not being able to find their way out. (You rock, by the way.) They’re afraid to go, afraid to stay, but they always come back don’t they? It’s time then, for you to mine your own depths, figure some shit out, and with the answers amp up your self-control and indeed, your control over every one else. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a Scorpio thing.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Where the F is everyone? Did they actually stay away when you told them to? Don’t they know you meant just for that particular day and not this particular day? Seems not. Now you want them back, to talk, to touch, to make love to… you’re going to have to do the reaching out here. You may have hurt a few feelings when you were shooing them out of your bed but they’ll be so happy that you’re back to normal that they’ll crawl right up in there again. Servicing oneself, as you forced them to, can only do a body so much good so you should make extra efforts to take the edge off the need that built within them while they were banished by you.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
The Mercury Retrograde through most of this month may frustrate you more than others, as even the simplest of details seem to escape you. This is getting set to drive you a little nuts. Added to this is the feeling of being misunderstood on just about every level there is to be misunderstood on. Avoid any conversation that starts with “Does this outfit make me look…” Expect confusion but don’t let the upset make you bury your head anywhere but between your lover’s thighs. That is what they wanted isn’t it? Or did you get that balls-ed up as well?
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You wish to engage in all things with all people but you are that scattered in your attentions that the focuses of your attentions may not reciprocate. (You are that obviously distracted.) You also may scare potential repeat partners off with your overzealous attempts to satisfy them. You don’t need to try every angle and position each time and you don’t need to go at it again right away. They’re good. Let them be for a minute and consider this: A surprise result is much more satisfying than a pre-determined one. (AKA – didn’t see that making me come.) Enjoy everything you’re doing, but do it without the expectation of specific results. It’s all about the subtlety of touch. You’ve got time. Figure it out.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Tranquility wherefore art thou? Not in your head that’s for sure. Normally you live to escape inward but right now your imagination overwhelms you: your days are filled to the brim with exotic thoughts and your nights with erotic dreams. Keeping it real and exciting and new is exhausting. You’d be happier just right now if someone else would do the dreaming and planning and innovation. If lazy partners won’t step up and it’s up to you again then it’s time to go for a wander in some other dreamer’s head. Read dirty books, watch sexy films (or straight up porn if you’d rather), doodle nudes on a napkin, gaze at sculpted arses at the art gallery. Sex, in all its glorious forms is out there. Take a load off and go get yourself some.