Just when you’d given up hope that they’d ever show up — bam — here they are! Thanks for your patience and understanding and what’s ups.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
How do you spell relief? The answer for you Aries is getting to live in your own skin: however, whenever and wherever you choose to do so. You’ve been pressured lately and not at all like the sweet push of a determined tongue. No Aries, you’ve been almost forced to give over every last bit of stuff you had to give – making sure they were happy, satisfied, ridden hard, and put away wet. Still the beauty is that when you’re sated and worn out everyone within arms length is as well. Maybe you’ll just be greedy and come first, which is in fact another way of spelling relief. It’s a good month Aries, enjoy.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
The Universe sends you mixed messages this month: you feel good but you feel vulnerable at the same time. When you feel good you are happy in spirit and thought, giving in an expansive way, and over the top generous with time and physical goods. You might blow someone’s mind (or literally) then wonder if making love to them all night long (literally) to the point of their exhaustion was too much too soon and then beat yourself up about it. You’ve made it through tough times before Taurus and this month could be a little bit like that. Refocus and re center and stop worrying about everyone else.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Let’s just call this your post-birthday vacation month because you’re feeling so darned good about yourself you must be working everything on someone else’s dime and time. Yes, you’re all that but don’t blow your wad of ego driven optimism all in one shot as you do want to carry this trend to next month as well. Does that sound negative to you? It’s just a realistic but cautionary heads up to enjoy the abundance of love, lovers, and want to be with you admirers that are filling your days and nights right now. Be kind, be generous, be considerate and the trend will continue. Don’t give them a reason to leave you.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You feel renewed and reinvigorated (Birthdays will do that for you) and you whizz around like a set free celebratory balloon wanting to experience as much as you can. The key to continuing this energetic buzz and not ending up spent and deflated behind the couch is to not get lost in the belief that someone is just waiting for the right moment to piss on your parade. Acceptance of yourself is the key: of your glorious fetishes, your delightful quirks, and your erotic eccentricities. It’s what we love about you. Accept that you’re okay and that you deserve goodness above all things – we certainly think you do.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You’re spending a lot of time right now wondering why your generosity is (to you) neither reciprocated nor appreciated. Now truthfully you wouldn’t dare deny that you are a fan of relationship score keeping but it seems that those who know where the chinks in your emotional armor exist are really getting to you and demanding that you work even harder to get their attention. The more you do the more they want. So, you can either protest loudly or offer up your subservient ass for a sexy shit kicking. Either way, you’ll be the center of attention and you wouldn’t dare deny that you’re a fan of being in the spotlight either would you?
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You’re still as busy as you were last month, still as wanted, and still as needed. This makes you happy. That you are also lusted after makes you very very happy. The only issue you may have is when associates insist on sharing their opinions and advice regarding who you do and when you do them. They miss the painfully obvious point that it’s up to you how you go about quenching your summer thirst for physical love. You don’t need their advice and you don’t want it. Ignore it in your own lovely Virgo way then go about your dirty business in your own lovely Virgo way. Just be careful out there.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You’re not a horridly selfish person but you’re also not in a race to be the most accommodating person that ever graced the land. Trouble is that instead of accepting you for you, lovers and others want an explanation (You’re not involved with a Leo are you?) for your behavior. They want to know why you won’t do for them like they expect? Why, Libra? Is it too much for them to ask? In this case it is. They knew what you were like when they stowed their boots under the bed and slipped between your silky soft sheets and wet slick thighs. You are you, you own you, and you should keep on doing you.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Everything in your life is hunky dory except for one major point: your deep soul searching has led not to your happy place, but to a place where happiness is still hidden. It’s like when someone thinks blindfolding you will increase your sexual satisfaction; missing the visual can certainly up the tension, but for you it lessens the overall encounter. You want to feel things and see things; the hands that touch you, tongue that licks you, teeth that nibble incessantly on your sweetest spots. Still, the big old world exists out from underneath you doesn’t it, and the question is: why do you feel a little bit lost? Close your eyes and think about that this hot steamy July.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
For the first time all year you are at peace with the emotional dogs that have been nipping at your heels – letting go does have its benefits. That’s why other people do it. It’s time also Sagittarius to clean your slate, change your sheets, and sweep the cobweb relationships out of the corners of your heart and soul. Those are the ones that you go back to and get all caught up in again, and me of all people is telling you that it’s not all about the sex: there’s great, and then there’s greater yet when you add need, lust, and desire to a basic take the edge off with a good but mindless make out session. Make room for the new. Fuck Buddies be gone.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Who knew you could get your cozy groove on again so soon after the unsettling events of last month and your resultant desire to not do your peeps, but to be done with them. They’re a tiresome bunch at times but when you get tired of doing the solo thing you’ll want to rejoin the human race and attend all the parties and places where everybody’s looking for and getting something something. Capricorns would have experienced different levels of upset last month and even if you didn’t yourself, it’s still time to let your guard down a little bit more and let chance and circumstance lead you to a place that sensible Caps rarely go – the unknown.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You’re a feelings kind of sign – always have been and always will be so you don’t have a problem with emotions as a whole and you can and will screw almost anyone from sad to satisfied (you’ve got some skills:) but only if they don’t go all mopey, maudlin, and poor me on you. When that happens you’re out. Over the next few weeks your tolerance in this regard might be even lower and you should expect to be tested a little more than usual. The question you must ask yourself is, where is the real aggravation coming from – you or them?
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You, Pisces, are enjoying a very real sense that life is in fact exactly on track, as you float through a distinct phase where you believe that if you can dream it you can have it. Can you apply this to possessions and people? Would you like to cup their ass in your hands, tweak a nipple, breath the earthy essence of their core? Keeping in mind of course that no does actually mean no, sometimes it means no the first time you ask, and sometimes the second…but sometimes it also turns to a yes. Focus on one thing at a time Pisces and then go after it or them, whatever the case may be.